The Fike Life

merry, merry

2011-12-07T14:53:00.000-08:00

i miss you guys! but we have been kinda busy:)

Stationery card

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the essential hour

2011-02-18T08:57:00.000-08:00

i find i am continually obsessing over the "how-to's" of home life. it just doesn't come completely naturally to me. i mean, loving it comes naturally...but the execution isn't always easy for me. i was and am, at heart, an absolute disorganized mess. after i got married i found a little seed growing in me that yearned for order. but it still wasn't in me. three kids and a whole entire house+yard later i find that seed has grown into a forest and yet it still is not second nature for me to be organized and tidy. and so i obsess about how to do it, how to execute the day and my duties thoroughly.

and yet sometimes i really envy moms that can just let it go. they appear to not carry around the burden of disorder. their homes are happily messy and it seems lovely to live with such a care free attitude. but for me, feeling behind or feeling the weight of all my to-do's just gets me down. i don't feel "free" in my home or around my kids. i feel trapped and i feel like i am doing a crappy job. i am sure a lot of this is due in part to fault... and i want to change those things in me... the ability to really live in the moment and let things go till another day. but i also find that my kids and i are all in a better space mentally and emotionally if there is order in our home and in our day. i think they need that and i want to give it to them.
but it is hard.

and then kirby came along with this harebrained idea to wake up super early every morning to get a jump start on his day (super early for us= 6ish) i grumbled in my head about this very unpleasant concept and told kirby to go for it. and he did. and that meant mary started getting up early, too...which meant that i had to start getting up early... which meant the day started early and let me tell you- it is magic!

the hour between 7 and 8 is what i am now deeming the essential hour for my home. what used to be spent sluggishly getting out of bed and sitting down with coffee is now spent getting to all that "stuff" that begs us of our time everyday. and i am, for the most part, feeling great.

this morning he girls were fed, dressed and playing with play-dough at 7:30, my once marathon laundry days are now laundry mornings... first load in around 6:45 and, if i am really on top of it, last load folded by lunchtime. we have even gone to morning mass once a week for the past three weeks. this is a huge accomplishment for me, who was used to rolling out of bed around the time mass starts. and do not get me wrong... this is not a bragging sesh this is me being amazed at what an early start on the day can do for my family. it is me starting to conquer, in small ways, a very lazy me.

and best off all... i feel present. my mind feels free(er) of worry about what i need to accomplish, and that essential hour seems to magically stretch out my day. we are spending more time in no-rush mental space and i am spending less time hurried, frustrated or feeling down.

but the challenge is a challenge of wills, which i have yet to master. because my disorganized self is closely tied to my "i want to sleep in" self. and that means no mornings are fun, ever. i never like getting out of bed. but i am learning to love what happens when i get out of bed and start the day.

so, here is my advice for you if you share some of these conflicts of personality and vocation as home-lady:
1. try to experience your essential hour, everyday. and plow through your chores while you can... you may not have the time/energy/willpower to do them later.

2. make some simple goals for yourself (big goals seems to hardly ever work for me... too intimidating, i suppose) i have nighttime and morning goals. at night i just make sure three simple things are done- table cleared and cleaned, sink emptied, floor swept. mornings call for beds made, breakfast dishes done, people dressed. i know getting dressed seems pretty basic, but i am totally that lady that could stay in her jam's all day and let my kids run around in 12 hour saggy diapers.

3. meal plan before your shopping trip and spend less time agonizing over dinner. i try to have 2 meals that can be pushed until the following week if dinner plans change.

have some future goals, too.... things i eventually would love to accomplish are waking early enough to get ready, have coffee and read a bit all by myself (maybe 5-6 is my new essential hour... terrifying) and sticking to a daily assignment of deep cleaning (i have made a bazillion "schedules" for myself and it seems the only thing i stick to are the laundry days. the bathroom usually gets scrubbed when friends are coming over for dinner.) mass more than once a week. less time on the computer or phone during the day. more frequent showers, etc.

also, have been trying to recognize my victories. it is easy for me just see what needs to be done and ignore what has been done.
six months ago i hardly ever got laundry done before dinner time and the sink was never clear of dishes. the other night i was scrubbing a caked on grill pan and i thought to myself, "hey, remember when you would let your pans "soak" for 2 days because you were avoiding scrubbing them? gross!". small victories, my friends. small victories.

you should find your victories, too. it is a sink free of toothpaste globs? is it a bed made? is it a child with her hair brushed (this is not a victory of mine...)? right now i am celebrating those simple victories and making plans for new ones.

i recognize that i might sound a bit crazy about all of this but i don't care. beds made and dishes done, for me, are a big deal. seriously.

and thank you, husband, for your ridiculous wake-up plans... you are changing our home for the much, much better.

here is john, longing seeing kirby off to work... still in his jammies and, probably, a very wet diaper.

advent

2010-12-03T21:16:00.000-08:00

we are almost through with week one of advent... and i am thinking alot about how to really spend my days, our days, during this super important time of year.

of course we have all year to grow and change and expand our love and knowledge of who God is and what He is in our lives, but the ebb and flow of the seasons are so necessary. it is so obvious to me that we are beings that crave ritual. we find safety and security in the repetition of the things we know. even nature tells us this... spring, summer, fall, winter, be born, grow, age, die. the christian gets the added bonus of our ritual through the year... and so this is why advent means something. it has a purpose. it's the darkness before the Light- preparation, self-reflection and renewal. making ourselves ready to recieve, in us, the baby Jesus. our hearts a manger. our minds as eager as the shepherd boy.

these last few years as a catholic have been huge for me in my awakening to this ritual. i just crave it. i crave the quite and solace of advent, the getting ready for christmas. real christmas.
so, in the midst of that i have been trying to scrounge together ways to make advent alive in our home, for our family.

here are my suggestions to you (aka what we are doing, which were mostly stolen/inspired by other incredible mom's that i love and adore):

1. make a jesse tree. i have already talked about this... see that here. i gotta say, we have plugged away at this tree for three years now and it is really paying off this year. the girls are so excited to hang the ornament for the day and they sit and listen as we read the story that corresponds. it is becoming such an incredible tradition.
2. have an advent wreath. each sunday a new candle is lit, filling the home with more light as we get closer to christmas. also, for catholic kids and some from other denominations that still practice this tradition, they get the excitement of seeing the new candle lit at mass on sunday and are able to relate to it in a special way.
3. create an atmsophere of reflection and magic in your home. twinkly lights, votives in front of an image of Jesus, a nook to cuddle up and read books about christmas and the birth of Christ... all the things that draw our senses to the season. i want my house to say... "there is something special happening here." as our kids grow up i hope this will inspire them to wonder about what actually is different... and how they should become different, too.
4. make a manger. this is a new one for us this year. we put a small basket in the living room with a jar full of straw-colored yarn nearby. each time the girls do something especially kind or thoughtful, or make a sacrifice of some kind, they can take some yarn and put it in the manger. the idea is that, over time, the manger will fill with "straw" and become a cozy bed for baby Jesus. a simple way to think of how every kind word we speak or beautiful thing we do can make our hearts a home for Him.
5. create a ritual. make a commitment to do something as a family to satisfy our need for ritual, and to foster an atmosphere of thoughtfulness and anticipation. we are saying a decade of the rosary together every night. it has been amazing. kirby makes the girls lead us and they shout "HAIL MARY!!!" at the top of their lungs as we being each prayer. it is hilarious and inspiring to see them ask for things with such faith. tonight hero's rosary intention was that she would get a princess dollhouse for christmas, mary (true story) asked for Jesus to come in her heart. what?!?!
it's amazing to me what happens when we give our kids the opportunity to know God and to meet Him. these hollered "hail mary's" that, i am sure, make heaven alive with joy over our living room scene.
Anyway... create a ritual. whatever it is...do it. if we end up sticking to our rosary every night i know, by christmas, our family will be changed by the commitment we made together and by the ritual we experienced as a family.

i am vicariously joining with all of you, too... as you start your journey towards that Holy Night. let's make a space so that our hearts and minds can get quiet enough to hear the secret magic of a Baby born that changed everything. and He is still doing it. over and over again.

speaking of change... here are my goals for these next few weeks.
1. slow down.
2. do all this stuff i mentioned. excitedly, patiently.
3. stop wasting time on the internet.
4. stay on top of things at home so that we can have a relaxed space in which to experience advent together.
5. look for moments of magic everywhere. and grab them.

happy advent!

"Advent is a time of the presence and the expectation in the eternal. Exactly for this reason, it is... the time of joy, an internalized joy, that no suffering can negate. Joy because God is made child." -Pope Benedict

true story

2010-11-22T14:10:00.001-08:00

kirby gets annoyed at me for never capitalizing anything. i bet you do, too.

well, somehow my high school computer class failed to teach me the essential skill of holding down the shift key to capitalize. i always just hit 'caps lock' on and off, on and off, on and off. it is a tiresome task.

a few years ago kirby was watching me type and i heard him say, "are you kidding me right now?"

"what?!"

(apparently you are not supposed to hit 'caps lock' on and off, over and over, in order to capitalize. kirby thought this was pretty hilarious.)

but learning how to type in a whole new way seemed much to arduous for me. kinda like when the dentist told me i had to learn how to swallow differently so that my front teeth wouldn't stick out. i say give me the sticky outtie teeth.

so there it is. true story.

and now, this cute photo.

recent discovery

2010-11-19T21:07:00.001-08:00

so i never ever thought about school, really. and sometimes i even felt weird about it because all my lady friends were talking about preschool, this and that. and most of the time i felt like a loser, smiling and um-huming and thinking to myself, "why am i not thinking about this stuff??? i am a terrible mother!"

and then suddenly hero was three, then three and a half and then the wall hit me. kids starting school all around her. but why not her? i knew i had to figure this out.

and then my dear friend, hope, gave me this book. a dreaded book to some maybe, but a treasure trove to me.
the book is titled, "real learning," by elizabeth foss.
and the sub title reads "education in the heart of the home."

GAH! home?!

does that mean what i think it is? am i that lady??

guess what?
i am.

this book reminded me that english class can be reading great books under a tree in the warm spring air. it reminded me that science can be touching anemone's at the ocean and planting in our garden together. i bet i would know how to explain photosynthesis better if i learned it while i sat in the dirt with the sunshine pouring down on me. it reminded me that i am this kinda lady. i am into this crazy stuff.

and beyond that... i really believe the education system is failing our kids. i believe kids need to learn at their own pace. i believe that children should be shown great art, great music and great literature. i want good stuff... great stuff... poured out on them everyday while they learn. these things are the heart of the schooling i want for my ones. and while, for many, that can be found in incredible schools all over the place... it looks like we fikes are going to try to find it here.

and maybe that's why i never got into thinking hard about schooling. maybe because the fire was waiting to be ignited here. through the wise words of a mother-author-teacher who reminded me that i will know what's best for my babes. and i will love them the very best, even when it comes to learning, because i am their momma. and who knows? maybe that will mean a change of plans down the road... i just gotta trust that the answers will keep coming to me. a future fail? maybe. a future success? maybe!

and so, as far as i can see, it looks like "homeschooler" is another tag you can add to the list. and if you think i am crazy for it, well then let's not forget i am also a homebirthing, unvaccinating, artist, catholic.
see? you already thought i was nuts.

meet the teach.

"education is the not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire"- w.b. yeats

free slave

2010-11-12T14:21:00.001-08:00

two weeks back kirby's car broke down and i was forced home for the week as he took our van back and forth to work each day. i was a bit excited at first... like it was some funny experiment to see what we would do for the week, forced home. i mean, really, what would we do?

usually the week consists of flip-flopping between being home, going out, seeing friends, running errands, and (lately) me obsessing about developing some semblance of a routine, and not quite knowing how to find it.

for me, being a stay at home mom can feel a bit muddy at times. sometimes there are plans for the day, places to be and appointments to keep. other days are wide open... i wake up and instantly begin to think of the laundry list of "coulds" for the day- finishing those reading pillows for the girls room, finally cleaning the crusty stove, seeing a friend, weeding a patch of the garden, blowing off everything and spending the day at a museum. and, truthfully, this often times leads to me milling about or starting a job and stopping it to go to another. thinking always about what should be happening that maybe isn't and if the kids would be better off if we had done this thing instead. at 3 o'clock when i am finally brushing my teeth i look at myself and ask for the 3 billionth time, "what are you doing??"

i really believe that being here with them is the very best thing i could possibly be doing with my time... but it is daunting at times to think that all these things are in my hands... house, kids, meals, chickens. from the hours of 8 to 6 they are mine. and often i wonder if i am really doing what i should with all of it. especially when you look out from a mound of laundry at kids with saggy diapers and it's 4 o'clock and who knows what we are going to eat for dinner.

so back to the week where i had no car... we were stuck.
and do you know what happened when we got stuck?

we were happy. the laundry was done, the house was tidy, the meals were made, PEOPLE TOOK NAPS!, we spent time outside, we read together, we even took (get ready for it) a nature walk... collecting interesting things we discovered along they way and an hour while baby slept was spend identifying and sketching out our finds together. i was really doing it. i was on fire!

best of all, i was (mostly) a calm, soft spoken, listening, hearing, creative, thorough and understanding mama. why?

because
i
had
time.

no place to be, no rushing out the door, no frantic "WHERE ARE YOUR SHOES AND WHY IS YOUR DIAPER OFF???"
there were moments. moments where i felt the edge a'comin. but they did not grow strong and they did not take over.

i found freedom. mental, emotional, freedom in the middle of the stuckness that would drive many (even me, i thought) crazy.

and so goes another check on the list of ironies that is motherhood.
the happiest, most delightful week we have had in a long time was forced on us by the absence of a car.

when did cars become such big deals anyway?

homemaker, baby haver, meal maker, laundry doer, chicken feeder, kid kisser, hair brusher, story teller, walk taker, life lover. i am a free woman.

gaggles and gobs

2010-11-05T14:42:00.000-07:00

i have three children. ages 3, 2 and 7 months. i get a lot of these from stranger's- "your brave!!" "you have your hands full!!" "i could never do that...," "now that you've got your boy, your 'done' right?" even the occasional, "you go, girl." (which makes me feel really awesome.)

i get the impression that people think this is really "hard."
and if i really want to freak them out i tell them that we don't. even. use. contraception....
no wonder.

what i always really want to say is... really? this seems hard? this is actually easy. i mean, crazy, yes. but it's easy. it is easy not to take a pill everyday to tell my body to not get pregnant, or at least to not stay pregnant. it is easy not to fish around for a condom. e v e r y t i m e y o u d o i t. ew.

i think that sounds hard. in fact, it wears me out just thinking about it.

be free, people. you will feel happier.

but beware, you might end up with gaggles and gobs of children like me.

seattle

2010-10-31T13:54:00.000-07:00

photo credit: bradley stemke

about two months ago, baby john and i flew up to seattle to visit my brother. the goal was to explore his new life a bit, experience his music and be free to go where he goes and see what he sees.

i had been struck with the reality that my own life has kept me really busy the past few years. kenny had been moving in and out of LA, doing new things, trying new places until seattle came. in spring 09 he moved up for music. he told me if he didn't do it now, he knew he would always regret it. and so he left.

honestly, i was hoping for the best but expecting him to be back sooner rather than later. and while i knew he was totally capable of writing gorgeous music, it really is a needle in the haystack kind of dream.

but then it happened. he played open mic nights, met some musical soul mates, started to write songs…

now, here i was. on an airplane headed north with his band tee on, ready to meet his shining face at the baggage claim.

and while i was excited to see them play as a band for the first time, i was more excited just to be on his turf. really focusing and enjoying him as his own person in his new city… not just my brother, my parent's son, my kid's uncle.

the night before i left for home, i stood outside of a sold out bar in ballard. i held baby john and watched kenny pace nervously in and out of the venue, stopping to chat with friends, stopping to chat with execs, stopping for the occasional calm-down smoke. the first band closed their set and kenny came over to me to let me know it was time to go in. i tied my moby wrap on brad and fit john snuggly inside of it (brad, in case you don't already know, is the absolute greatest). kenny walked me up to the bouncer and got me my stamp then hustled me through the crowd to the very front.

and then it started. and it was a flurry of sweat, laughter, singing load, stomping, clapping, grinning ear to ear, loving every moment. there he was, on a stage, doing it… doing it beautifully. and the people all around me were singing every word. i often stopped and scanned their faces. strangers, mostly. singing every word.

photo credit: shahrzad arfaei

when i was 16 and kenny was 11, i started, what was to be, a short lived career as a singer in a girl pop group (i know, i know…) suddenly there was a lot attention on me, a lot riding on me, and a lot of time spent away… i once flew home from a family vacation and kenny and my parents continued on without me. i missed birthdays.

i know it was a rough time for my brother. he, in one of the most transformative times in his life, had lost me as a permanent fixture. i rode on ahead and he stayed behind. and he felt it.

and clearly that season has past for me, and he grew up and grew out of that prepubescent weirdness. but still, the most glittering, shining, moment for me, in that crowded bar in seattle, was just to stop and realize that right now… this was all for him. and i got to be a face in the crowd. cheerleader. sister of the piano player. stranger, mostly.
my identity was only this and my heart swelled with gratitude for those fleeting moments. happy to be just so.

i am so, so proud of you, brother.

photo credit: bradley stemke

five years

2010-06-18T11:28:00.000-07:00

i was inspired recently by a quote from my brother's band mate in regards to the idea of following your heart... he said something to the effect of "chasing what is good, regardless of where the road is taking you." instantly i thought of my love...

kirby and i met, started dating... six months later he said to me (in the kitchen of his apartment) "so, do you ever think we should just probably get married?" i said "yes." three months later, i said "yes" again...in my parent's backyard in a white dress.

i was looking for you...

kirby quit his job and we took most of our wedding gift money and went to europe for 6 weeks. we rode around on trains and lost stuff, i sprained my ankle on the steps in sorrento and we wandered through the woods in assisi at night because we refused to sleep apart...and the hostel had no co-ed rooms left. kirby's beard grew to extreme lengths, we wore a few staple clothing items in rotation, got lost, got found...

on the lawn under the tower of pisa

sitting in between the cars on a train. there were no empty seats

when we got home we moved in with my parents while he found a job and i found an apartment. we slept in my old bedroom in my twin bed.

then kirby got a job at a mental health clinic making $13.50 an hour. we were so happy. we found 500 sq feet to live in at csun's family housing.

we left our protestant faith and became roman catholic.
we got pregnant with our first baby one month later...

leaving our first apartment.

2.3.

we have been poor...we have been "rich" (which, was still actually poor) we have had negative account balances, we have eaten lots of peanut butter and jelly sandwich's. lots.

to most of the world, especially in our culture... this is all stupid. it is stupid, irresponsible, crazy... we should be divorced, we probably will be divorced, why are you having "all" these kids?! get a better job, get a better degree... this will never last.

i say this life is lovely. it is romantic, poetic, beautiful, passionate and filled to the brim with love and laughs and it is for ever and always.

our culture tends to discourage living this way and that is sad and unfortunate. unfortunate for all of those that are afraid to make "insane" choices for fear of failure...or because it's what your "supposed to do." oh... how many miss out on the good stuff.

i am proud that we chased what was good, my love.
we have a love story. and i am proud to pass this on to our children, to encourage them to really, really spend their days on this earth chasing the things that are good. the things that make this life good. i am proud to care for our home and our babies. i am proud to take care of you.
i really, actually love you more today than five years ago today.

you are magic to me.
and i will still eat peanut butter and jelly sandwich's with you. happily.

this song... is ours.

moving

2010-05-27T17:30:00.001-07:00

quick update-
bought house, moving, in two days, construction, painting, refinishing floors, packing, newborn, 3 year old, 2 year old, happy, grateful, tired, excited, malnourished, still only fit into one pair of non-maternity jeans.
this video should fill in the blanks.
i promise to get better at this... wish us luck!

sneaky love

2010-04-14T20:47:00.000-07:00

one week ago, right now, we met our son, john campion. born at 9:19 pm on the 7th of april. out of the water and into my arms after a fierce labor, i looked into the eyes of this sneaky love of mine...
my son.
sneaky because he was unexpected. i mean- i knew i was having a baby, i knew i would love him, and i couldn't wait to meet him, but i had no idea what a boy-child would mean to me. all i knew for those 10ish months was that i had two girls that i was head over heels for and a big, fat belly that slipped my mind most of the time. i had experienced this with mary... feeling so busy with life with hero that my pregnancy became a sort of an afterthought. and then she was born and she hit me full force and i was lost in love with her. my pregnancy with john felt like a sped up version of that- two babies keeping my life in motion, suspended in forever pregnancy, not really seeing an end because our life keeps me in the moment. on top of that... a boy. alien, stranger, foreigner. until he came out of that water.
my son.
i actually did say those words... "my son." i cried them. he looked right at me and in that instant i knew he was my boy forever, i knew exactly what it was to love a son and to be a boy's momma. he is the latest champion of my heart. he is my sneaky love.

i have done a lot of processing this week... working out my emotions towards my labor and his birth. i am sure i will write more about that later but, in short, it was fast and crazy intense. it was a real battle mentally, emotionally, physically, spiritually. i had a really great talk with lindy earlier this week about it and she was helping me to sort through some of the issues. she said something so powerful to me. she said that life is lived in the hills and the valleys, not in the plains. she said that if we lived life at a 5 on the scale, we wouldn't really be living. it is the deep, dark pits and the high, clear peaks that we really feel what it is to live- they are the beauty of our experience. she then reminded me of how incredible it is that when we give birth we experience those extreme moments in the very same frame of time. how many other moments in our lives to we get to feel that contrast so vividly? giving birth to a child really sends you deep down into battle, it transforms you with it's great power and intensity and pain. but in it's climax it sends you straight to the top of it all... to the highest height and the most glorious moment... holding that tiny, slippery loveliness in your arms.
when i think of labor and childbirth in these terms i am so profoundly grateful for the ability to do it. i love what it teaches me about myself, i love who i become when i conquer in battle, i love that it shows me what it is to mother. i am so glad to be a woman, to be a wife and a mother, to have experienced these miracle moments. i am so thankful to hold a new life to my chest, to have a new battle to know, a new baby to love.
God is so good, He is so good to me.

thoughts from the line

2010-03-22T20:15:00.000-07:00

today was sunny and gorgeous, i had kept the house clean enough over the weekend to not feel buried with chores and it's monday- which is laundry day. all this equaled today being the perfect day to start a habit i have been meaning to for a looonnggg time. and so i dragged my first batch of wet clothes out to the backyard, rigged up my line and started to hang.

i was recently re-inspired to try and line dry our clothes thanks to an article on http://simplemom.net that lindy turned me on to.

i loved the author's perspective on this seemingly tedious and unnecessary extra chore. to her, it had become a sweet household ritual. her kids would play around her basket as she hung her families clothes. it became a time to go outside and be together and do something meaningful for the people she loved. well, to her, it had become something meaningful. and after one day doing it i see why and i am so inspired.

something about being in the sunshine with my girls, something about touching and seeing each article of clothing that i had haphazardly shoved in the washer, something about it taking time and energy, something about the way my first load smelled like the bbq from my neighbors yard (not desirable) but my second smelled like orange blossoms.

i think i learned a big lesson today about what housework is supposed to mean, and how it's a sanctifying work. because all our work can be prayer, it can all be worship and sacrifice if our heart is making it so. our work can be a chore or a burden or it can be a gift of love to the Maker and to the ones He has entrusted us to care for. for me, hanging our clothes on the line forced me into that mental space, into that heart space. it is easy for me to begrudgingly shove wet clothes into the dryer, hit the button and hurry to the next task without stopping to really love what i am doing and who i am doing it for.

when you reach into a heavy basket full of wet clothes, when you shake the wrinkles out of each piece and turn each pantleg right side out, when you hang countless pairs of teeny princess undies and when you are being helped by a 3 year old- you are forced to take your time, to think about each member of your family, to do your job deliberately, carefully, with grace and with love...

i realized that for me, in my small spot in the world, with my mostly unseen vocation, with my simple title of wife and mom... my laundry can make me a saint. so can my dustpan and boogery noses and packing my man a lunch.

and while these things aren't often accomplished with a happy heart or with grace, or at all, for that matter... at least i know what i'm going for.

child genius

2010-03-19T14:09:00.000-07:00

hero was eating a quesadilla and some yogurt. i walked past the table and saw the quesadilla was gone from her plate... "did you finish it all?" i asked in amazement... she pointed down to the table next to her plate, grinned, and said, "it's you!" so i came closer to see what she was talking about. there was a few bitten into pieces neatly arranged on the table. she pointed to the bottom quesadilla piece first and said (working her way up) "these are your undies, this is your bra and this is your head!"

this child is a genius!

glorious

2010-02-28T10:23:00.000-08:00

my weekend mornings are glorious.

last of the emerald isle

2010-02-02T11:29:00.001-08:00

so, this is a week overdue... but here it is. our last day in ireland: dingle, the dingle peninsula, miles and miles of perfect irish coastline and countryside, driving on the most precarious coastal roads i have ever seen, a gorgeous, sunny day, soaking up the last bits of our trip, saying goodbye to our friends at aunty lena's pub, guiness, jameson, tea. memories for miles... thanks so much for the incredible trip, mom and dad!

18 holes take all day

2010-01-26T10:36:00.000-08:00

so the boys played the golf course here at the adare manor while the girls had a restful morning. in the afternoon my dad, the girls and i drove a relatively short distance to a restored castle and "folk park" called bunratty castle. there is a little 15th c village set up around the castle and apparently in the summertime it is in full swing. but this being the wintertime it was pretty quiet and really cold. we still had fun seeing the town and imagining life back then... mary threw a few tantrums and then crawled into a chicken coop caked with muddy chick-poo. i thanked God for hand-sani, but wet, clean hands quickly led to frozen hands which made mary an even more unpleasant bunratty castle and folk park visitor. i also realized i packed the wrong battery charger for our camera so we are left with my mom's point and shoot for the remainder of the trip. i'm not complaining... just keeping it real.

the oldest living dead man

2010-01-25T04:45:00.000-08:00

day 3 included a gorgeous drive north to galway... frost in the trees, rows and rows forever of rock walls, mass at the cathedral, hero farting at a pin-drop moment during mass.... then proclaiming "i farted!!" while that pin-drop moment still lingered. after we finished laughing, we drove further north to knock, a small village that houses ireland's national shrine. One of the few church-approved apparitions happened here in 1879 when the Blessed Virgin, St John and St Joseph appeared to 15 of the villagers at the back wall of the church. needless to say, it was pretty overwhelming to be there and to imagine what it must have been like for the people of knock to see something so incredible in their tiny, obscure little town.
we lingered in the chapel awhile... then headed home for dinner at our new favorite local place- aunty lena's. new discoveries include a love for mushed peas and towel-warming racks!

socked in

2010-01-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

today was so foggy, which turned out to be awesome. the landscape got even more magical, the sense of this ancient culture got even more vivid and the driving got even more hazardous. we went to the rock of cashel- 12c. cathedral, castle and site of many other awesome and tragic things. legend says st patrick baptized the king on the rock and accidentally stabbed his foot with his staff, but the king thought it was part of the ceremony and kept quiet. it also had a gift shop that sold "minerals and ices" amongst other things. next we went to a giant stone circle, ala stongehenge, which is dated about 2000 bc! it was literally 50 yards off of the highway behind a little shepherds fence. a man named travis looks after it and he told us all about the place while his daughter annie painted the "visitors center" - which was a garden shed - in extremely cold, wet weather. he was great and so was the circle. day 2...

everything is so backwards!!

2010-01-22T16:45:00.000-08:00

...a quote from my mom, who is, somehow, so turned around with driving on the left that she thinks her actual left is right and vice-versa. i still can't make sense of it.

we are here and it is incredible! somehow our super cheap travelzoo.com deal we got turned out to be totally legit and we are staying in the fanciest place in the best little village, adare. here are somethings i have learned so far...

1. babies are way better travelers than adults
2. adults are way better travelers than pregnant ladies
3. spontaneous contractions over the atlantic ocean will make you burst into tears
4. hydration is key
5. ireland is magical
6. off-season, shmeason
7. guiness is waaaay different here than in the states
8. mary likes it
9. irish people are the nicest people in the world, as far as i know
10. the term "hooker" refers to a rugby position, do not be offended if someone's suggests your unborn child might be one.

day one: killarney, 15th c. franciscan abbey, 15th c. castle, country drive, and aunty lena's pub in adare with a rugby match and irish music.

getting ready for big things

2010-01-19T17:00:00.000-08:00

while this has nothing to do with my post... hero started ballet. watching her in her first class was one of those "never, ever forget" moments. totally perfect and beautiful in every way
i will also never, ever forget how cute mary was trying sooo hard to participate. poor girl! why is this underlined??
here in the fike household we are getting ready for big things.
1) the birth of our son (yes, a son!) in just 12 short weeks.
2) a big family trip to ireland in just one short day.
3) a project i have deemed 'the fike household beautification project' which is to commence as soon as we recover from jet lag.
4) the third birthday of my hero, which is next week.

i have been feeling super nesty already- minus the energy- which is fun and not fun. fun because i am organizing our home and simplifying our life which feels sooo good. not fun because i don't always have the energy to accomplish my goals, so they sometimes only go down in my imagination which doesn't really accomplish anything.

then i found out i am so anemic that i could not even have my baby at home if i were term right now which is sucky but at least gives me hope for my energy returning once i bump up my iron. and yes- i know, i know... i am the worst supplement taker on the planet. it's my fault.

as i organize, both mentally and in real life - i am trying to follow these beautiful tenents (introduced to me by lindy) that everything in my home should be either useful to me or beautiful to me. and when the fike household beautification project begins, you better believe i will be walking around this place with a big box, tossing things in that do not meet either one of those requirements.

my goal, i have learned, is too simplify in order to be the best mom and wife i can possibly be. i realize that when our home is orderly and our belongings are minimal, when meals are planned and groceries are bought, my energy is focused on the people i love and how to love them better. i do not want to be a slave to our stuff or my chores... instead i want to turn my chores into acts of love for my family. when things are simplified i get things done quickly and get them done well and then we can make forts out of bedsheets or read or be ballerina's dancing in the living room or laying in the grass with ladybugs.

my plan is to have things together so that when this baby boy comes we can all just fall in love with him with as few distractions as possible... i am excited to commence.

you know you're pregnant when your talking more about organizing than going to ireland, tommorrow! sheesh.

stay tuned for a, hopefully, gorgeous photojournal of our adventures!

in need of...

2009-12-06T22:12:00.000-08:00

suzanne disilvestri is a mother of seven beautiful children, ages 1-12. she was recently diagnosed with stage IV breast cancer that has metastasized to both her bones and her liver. she and her family are in need of help... support, prayer, meals, love. you can follow her story here.

if you live in the l.a. area and are interested in lending your support in some way other than keeping her and her family in your prayers, you can let me know... or just stay posted for news on a fundraising party coming soon to help provide for childcare for her babes while she is in treatment.

please join us in praying for a miracle for this family.

-the kiddos, last christmas.

the coming of Love

2009-12-06T21:07:00.000-08:00

after baths we put up our jesse tree ornaments from the past few days that we had missed for one reason or another. the girls were in footsie jammies and i watched them scramble over kirby to reach the branches as i tried to tell short and interesting versions of each of the symbols. afterward we lit the second candle on our advent wreath, prayed a short prayer and sang a verse of 'o come, o come Emmanuel.' together, in the dark of our dining room, with two candles burning and two wide eyed girls watching it struck me (again, for the millionth time) how amazing it is to be given the privilege of parenting. these kids can't sing along with a christmas carol yet, they cant understand the depth of the Story, what it means to rejoice because He came to ransom us... but i get to show it to them. i get the creative freedom, the ability to establish beautiful and meaningful traditions in our home, i get to teach them, to point them to Him, to help to stir up an anticipation- an anticipation that now is excited only by christmas lights and the idea that someone named santa might drop off a princess bike on christmas morning... but also that a Baby was born on a still, cold night and there was a moment that changed everything. i don't think there is a better job on earth than mine.

this is why i love advent... it is so easy to talk about how important it is to remember what christmas is 'really about.' but without advent, we would only have one day to do that. one day to remember, be thankful, rejoice, reflect. and while that would be fine it it were all we had, advent allows us to stoke the flames, to pay attention to the lyrics in the songs we are singing, to really get excited and to remember why. it's the most beautiful time for me and i love seeing it come to life in the eyes of my babies. it reminds me of the magic that we should all feel right now.

i loved this reflection in a little advent journal made by a friend of mine-

"Are you ready for the coming of Love? Behold, He comes in the womb of a woman. You will catch your first glimpse of Love on the straw of a stable. There He is, emptying Himself, the Lord of Hosts; out of love He became a child."

mary dancing

2009-08-13T14:17:00.001-07:00

and then there were five

2009-08-11T11:25:00.000-07:00

april 10, 2010.

maybe this will get me back in the blogging spirit!

moved

2009-07-11T19:41:00.001-07:00

so we are here...moved. i feel like the past few weeks have flown by. i have never moved with two kids before. and there are lots of lessons to be learned in that. lesson number one - your home simply will not be finished in the time frame you wish it to be. lesson number two - don't just hunker down and unpack for two weeks straight. it will make you feel like a crazy person.

so i have been changing my style a bit... doing a little unpacking, a little organizing, lots of seeing friends, lots of making friends, and fending off stressful feelings. this has made life easier, it seems...and the transition a bit smoother.

as for being in a new town, i really think we will love it here. i mean, we already love it... but i think we will grow to really love it. last night my mom and i took hero to her first movie at the theater downtown. it has one screen and the show is every night at 7. we walked there... it took about 4 minutes. that, to me (and compared to living in the sfv) is happiness in a can. we walked back at dusk and all i could see all around us was the black of the mountains against the bluish sky and i really saw for the first time, how small our new town was. we left central ave (which is our main st) and turned the corner and it was dark! it made me really happy and it made me happy for the babes, to grow up experiencing a little town like this.

as for the socializing we had an impromptu bbq for the 4th because our great friend brad and his incredible girlfriend, katrina, where in town visiting. fireworks are legal in fillmore, so we figured it was the perfect opportunity to introduce some friends to our new town. needless to say, it was awesome. we even took some family portraits to commemorate the awesomeness.

as you can see, country living suits us fine.

one of those kids

2009-06-16T09:13:00.000-07:00

i got to spend saturday celebrating baby titus' coming with lindy and her family.

and at one point in the day, i discovered mary like this.

i am resigned to the fact that mary is just one of those kids.

(this is not, poop, by the way)

we are going to see coldplay in july

2009-06-15T10:34:00.001-07:00

i wonder if any of these guys will be there?

moving to the country

2009-06-10T12:36:00.000-07:00

well, pretty close anyway.

we are moving! this is very exciting in many, many ways.

1. we are really outgrowing our space here in student housing.
2. we are going to try out living in a brand new town. fillmore, ca... pop 18,643.
3. we are renting our first house!
4. this house has three bedrooms!!
5. and wood floors!!!
6. and a yard.
7. with a fence.
8. and a washer and dryer.

luxury, pure luxury.
after lots of thought about where to go next, and not loving the valley, but not wanting to go far, and not having very may options based on our budget, we decided to take a chance on fillmore- a quiet little country town nestled in miles of orchards, with a real main street and a one screen movie theater and all that. we are only 30 min away from everyone we know and love (minus our fillmore friends)and we can afford a house there, which is amazing for us!

i am really looking forward to living in a little country town. i think the pace of our family has always been kind of contradictory to our living situations... and while i have loved our time in this apartment and the memories we have made i am super excited to start something new in a place that, i think, will suit our little family perfectly!

anyway, we move in a week and a half and i can't wait. if you want to see our new house, here is a super choppy video i took from my first visit there (when i didn't think we could afford it...before we weaseled an amazing deal out of the owner).

yahoo!!

things i love

2009-06-10T12:27:00.001-07:00

i think it would be beneficial to start a regular posting dedicated to things i love.

first installment: tim and eric.

joy

2009-05-30T17:20:00.000-07:00

i realize that while i am living my life without a camera, i need to dig up some old inspiration for my blog posts. my blog lull left me without a proper post for mary's birthday- a perfect opportunity to fill in the gaps.

a year ago, april 24.
lindy was there to photograph mary's birth which means a)there are lots of amazing shots of the whole experience and b) 98% of them are inappropriate for posting on the internet. but this is one of 2% (almost). mary was born after only a couple of hours of labor, which i have learned, makes a huge difference when it comes to baby-having. i mean, in the same way that sprinting is easier than marathon running. at 3 in the afternoon i climbed into the tub, totally amazed we had already come to this point. my pregnancy had flown by as i chased after hero and soaked up as much time with her as i could. we didn't know if the baby was a girl or boy... it all felt like a whirlwind. this was helped by how gently my labor began. my only experience had been long and arduous and i had almost banked on that as a way to, sort of, catch up with what was happening. but suddenly i was in that tub, and just a few hour later i was pushing and only minutes i heard leslie, my midwife, say.. "when your ready, reach down and get your baby." and i did! i push again and reached my arms down into the warm water and got my baby. and i was mesmerized. my mary josephine. my surprise from the Giver of all Gifts.

what a lesson she is for me in family planning. i found out i was pregnant when hero was 6 months old. i was unsure of my abilities and scared. but in that moment, this moment of joy, with my little, warm baby girl in my arms, He spoke to me and said, "Trust in me... I give you all good things."

if you have had a baby you know what it is like to rejoice when you hold your little one for the first time. it really is rejoicing...sobs and wailing and laughter. it is truly one of the greatest of all human experiences.

so then i was tucked into bed...kirby at our side, my new little one nursing for the first time. and the sun was setting and the room was amber and warm and my brother was playing piano in the room next door. a song that was thoughtful and powerful, sweet and strong. the moment was just that.

updates

2009-05-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

interesting things i have experienced lately:

1. getting my beloved camera stolen at the SD zoo. still mourning.
2. catching mary eating a piece of hero's poop. long story as to how she got the poop in the first place.
3. finding hero, just now, diaper off, scratching her butt with my toothbrush.

my reactions:

1. wishing camera thief's would at least leave behind the memory card!
2. why?! WHY?! kirby said, quite earnestly, "maybe she can't taste?!"
3. side splitting laughter. i mean, how much more extreme can you get than scratching your naked butt with someone's toothbrush?

come on, you know your laughing, too.

so unbloggy

2009-05-06T14:48:00.000-07:00

i am just feeling so unbloggy lately! no why... i just haven't had the urge to sit, type, upload.

for the time being, here is a shot of my recently ONE year old munchkin enjoying her birthday cupcake.

she graciously fed her momma, too. apparently kirby thought we were still posing for a nice family photo.

see, lots has been going on!

honey

2009-04-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

so as my mom mentioned in the comments of my last post, the irony of my spiritual musings was this... while i was deep in thought about what God was teaching me about how I should or would be spending my last few lenten moments, and how i should relinquish control and let Him lead me ...even through sickness and other household chaos... hero had snuck up onto our kitchen counter top, got a jar of honey, and had been quietly pouring it all over mary. the whole jar, on her little sister (and on the carpet).

just as i clicked "post", mary started to fuss... and so i walked out of the bedroom to see what was up. and i just laughed... long and loud. as i took pictures, as i pulled off all the sticky jammies, as i bathed them, as mary threw up a LOT of honey after the bath, as i cleaned the mess... it actually made me feel good, like God was hearing me and was saying, 'Yep, your right...let it all go... and let me make things little more crazy so that you can put your words into action.'

how ironic...

and we did get to have a glorious easter, by the way... but more on that later. for now, observe my final lenten sacrifice.

approaching the end

2009-04-09T09:51:00.000-07:00

today is Holy Thursday... today we celebrate the Passover meal Christ shared with His disciples, tonight He kneels in the garden and begs the Father to let this cup pass, tonight He is kissed and betrayed and tomorrow He is put on the cross to die.

Lent is ending and i have been at a loss for things to blog about. forty days is a long enough time to just kind of get used to things. while it is a time of abstinence and fasting, it's easy to just get used to the things you have changed in your life. for me, i gave up tv. it was meant to be a sacrifice, something that could redirect my thoughts to Christ every time i didn't pick up the remote. but now, now i am just used to not watching tv, and it's easy to forget the sacrifice. that's why i wanted to make this week, Holy Week, something special. i wanted to complete this forty days with a serious deepening of my understanding of Christ and His sacrifice for us. so i planned to really sacrifice things; i wanted to feel somber and morose so that i could really experience this season.

so i had all these plans... lots of time for prayer, lots of solitude, eating very simply, no tv, no music, even keeping the lights off in the house from Good Friday to Easter morning. reminding us that the Light had gone out. i really wanted to create a mood in our home that reflects the sadness of those few days in waiting... but also to accentuate the JOY of Easter morning. i want our kids to wake up to a house that is filled with flowers and colors and a feast of a breakfast and music and Easter baskets and candy and celebration. i want them to experience the extreme beauty of Christ's resurrection and i want them to feel that contast. anyway, so i have all these plans...

ahhh, God loves plans, right?

we all got the flu.

instead of spending time in contemplation and prayer, i am mopping up vomit and holding mine back.
instead of planning and preparing and even keeping the house clean so we can focus on things like Jesus, i can't get off the couch and the house just keeps getting messier.... all... around... me.
instead of keeping the distractions of media at bay, we have been watching cartoons for two days.

and then He showed me that it is here that I will experience Him. in my weakness and in my sickness and in my inability to do all the things i want to do, even with the purest of intentions.

and just like He asked the disciples to sit a while and wait with Him, He is asking me to sit, and wait.... and not plan out how to experience Him and His death and His infinite mercy that led Him to that cross. because I could never get it anyway.

I have to trust that He will lead me to Him in His own way, not mine... and it will be in my suffering that I see Him clearly, not in my hyper-controlled, organized and highly thought out way.

and so we will wait. and while i am soothing a barfing baby i will remember the last commandment Jesus gave today, the day we celebrate as His last with His disciples... to love one another. which is sometimes a challenge when vomit is involved.

i still plan on making a feast (i love that word) on Easter morning. i just hope there is someone around here that can keep it down.

see you after Sunday.

have a blessed, thoughtful and joyful next three days.

butta

2009-03-25T16:20:00.001-07:00

inspired by this super creative mom, who was inspired by someone else... we decided to get all prairie style and make our own butter!

now, butter is something that i would think takes a lot of effort to make. i was amazed to learn that it is actually super easy, and fast... and SO delicious.

we bought some good quality organic cream, left it on the counter to warm up a bit (2 hours), put it in the food processor and watched the magic happen. first is turns into whipped cream for a minute or two and then, viola... butter.

here is a good step by step tutorial, if your interested... the only adjustment i made was doing it in the food processor (way less mess) and letting my cream warm, it came together much quicker.

i love being a farmer woman in my mind.

here is a shot of our butter blob after rinsing.

reserving the buttermilk...enjoying yay butter!

to use or not to use...

2009-03-22T12:48:00.001-07:00

lately i have been reading what i think to be a very important book. its called open embrace and it's written by a young evangelical couple who decided to not use contraception.

many of you know that kirby and i came to this decision, also... we were really convinced that sex in marriage and having babies came hand in hand and we wanted to be totally open to God's plan for our family.

sometimes this is a hard thing to talk about with our friends, sometimes people feel awkward talking about it; it is a very personal issue, after all. but it's also an issue that has not really been faced by the modern protestant church... and i think it needs to be. that's why this book is so great.

it's awesome because it's written by a protestant couple. most of the material out there about openness to life in marriage and/or nfp (natural family planning) are from catholic resources, which can sometimes be unappealing for our protestant friends. so open embrace is awesome as it comes from a totally protestant perspective.

a few things that i learned about while reading this book that are important to share are 1) there is a difference between contraceptives and abortifacients. contraceptives stop the sperm from reaching the egg (condoms, diaphragms, spermicides) abortifacients impede the egg from implanting in the uterus... this can often be a fertilized egg (a growing baby), thus coining the term "abortifacient." the pill, the mini-pill, nuvaring, iud's and the morning after pill are all lumped in this category.

most christian's that are using an abortifacient don't even know that they are.

i know this is harsh subject matter... but let's embrace that. let's ask the hard questions and not ignore this issue. even if it doesn't lead to you a change in your marriage, at least you can know with confidence that you explored this with faith in the One who promises to open the door to us that seek Him.

this is short, simple, read... it's sweet and gentle and full of incredible ideas about faith and marriage and sex and family.

please go get it, read it, and pass it on. and let me know what you think!

crayons

2009-03-19T10:31:00.000-07:00

i have always swooned over the super fancy art materials from nova natural but never could bring myself to spend tons of money on them. a few weeks ago i saw on some great, creative woman's blog (i am forgetting who now), a crayon melting project that was done just to organize broken crayon pieces laying around their house. light bulb! i have always wanted to get block beeswax crayons for hero, but, like i said, never felt like i could/should fork out 12 bucks for a few crayons. so, i bought a 62 pack of crayons for 2 dollars and we went to work. and while these are not yummy smelling beeswax, they are chunky and fun to hold and draw with. and we got a brand new set of coloring tools that we helped to make with our own hands. 2 dollars well spent.

and hero loved them so much that she pushed them around the her santa-shrek in her buggy. what a good color mommy.

spring cleaning/ pushing stage

2009-03-12T21:40:00.000-07:00

today my mom took the girls for a few hours so i could get some major organizing done around the house. it is really amazing what i can accomplish in a relatively short amount of uninterrupted time. i don't really notice it, but i realized (as all you others moms have, i am sure) that while i do get a good amount done each day...it's done it spurts. i can work while the babes are playing or napping, but only as long as the work i am doing isn't noisy work. anyway, it seems there are lots of factors that go into accomplishing a certain task. organizing always seems impossible because you must make a mess in order to organize it. and making big piles of receipts or old mail or paper clips just doesn't happen with a two year old and a tenth month old hanging around.

so, today... i went at it and i got SO much done. i felt like a champ, a totally organized champ.

and among the rubble i found this paper amidst a pile of paperwork from mary's birth. i suppose the only downside of homebirthing is that you have to file for the birth certificate yourself. well, let me rephrase..that's the only downside if you have your babies at home and you are not very good at being organized, like me. because then you realize that your ten month old baby doesn't have a birth certificate yet. yep, that's right, people. isn't that terrible? i think i have till a year to do it... the countdown is on.

anyway, back to the paper. i found the chart recording her birth info and i noticed that the first stage of labor was recorded as 3:50 min. and the second stage was recorded as 0:02 min. and this just made me feel really happy! hero's second stage was recorded as 4:00. yikes. just a glance that those pretty like numbers made my heart so glad. it made me remember what a glorious day that was, and it made me feel proud to have proof that i had a baby that fast.

i guess the good part of having a not so easy labor with one baby makes you extra excited when you have a not so hard one with another. and i am thankful for them both. but this makes me feel realllly thankful.

see?

it's coming

2009-03-10T14:22:00.000-07:00

we had some real good summertime weather here last weekend. it's funny, by september i am so angry at california for not having seasons. by december, i am down in the dumps wishing we had snow... but by march...man, oh man, am i ready for sunshine. i should really shape up my attitude, i know.

i just love it here when it's hot outside... the days get longer and slower...we do everything outside. we have bare feet and we eat fruit and we cook our food outside and we swim and the babes don't wear very much in terms of clothing. it's by far one of my most favorite times of the year (as long as the heat is happening when it should). anyway, last weekend we got a glimpse of what is to come. i spread out our blankey under our favorite tree and read while mary jumped in her bouncy thing. hero sat in a puddle left over from the morning sprinklers and chased bees. we even drank home made sweet tea... perfect.

rainy beach day

2009-02-28T12:53:00.000-08:00

last saturday we hit the beach for some overcast beach day fun.
we hung out at zuma where mary ate lots of black sand... then we went to neptune's to eat mounds of fried sea creatures (a must for a fike beach day, if we can pull together enough pennies to shell out). then we drove to the super high sand dune just north of county line where mary ate more sand and where hero discovered how to throw sand...in my face, while i was taking pictures...which was, for me, a total 'dont lose your temper, she is only 2'... moment.

on the way back home kirby said, and i quote, 'i don't want this day to end!' and so we drove down to santa monica where we hung at the playground next to the pier until hero peed in her pants, which is always confusing when there is a diaper present that is supposed to catch things like pee. so we took that as a cue that our perfect day was coming to a close... and home we went.

poor mary pooped sand for the next two days, but she didn't seem to mind it.
oh, and a got a new hair do, which can be viewed below...although it's beachy and dirty and not as cute as it is supposed to be.

sneaking in

2009-02-27T14:44:00.000-08:00

the other day i snuck in on the babies playing in the crib. i love watching these two become buddies. they are really beginning to hit a stride of being able the really play with each other. they keep each other occupied for long stretches of time...which is amazing! they are even starting the get into a little trouble together. last week i was in the bedroom straightening up and when i came out i found them both in a pile of ziplock baggies taken from a box that hero had managed to get out of a drawer. hero is the leader of their operations, mary is the wingman. lately the first thing hero asks me in the morning is if 'deedee' is up. hero is protective and considerate of her sis...and sometimes bossy, but deedee holds her own. i love watching this sister love blossom.

phone

2009-02-23T11:08:00.001-08:00

i lost my phone, which was kinda nice for a while. but losing your phone meaning losing your contact info. and when you want to call somebody and you can't that is kind of a bummer.
so, if you had a number in my phone, please send it to me.

in the meantime, i can use this to promote my new email address.

give me your digits...
blythefike@gmail.com

st valentine

2009-02-17T13:10:00.001-08:00

we had fun getting ready for valentine's day this year. we cut out paper hearts and hung them all over the house. i wasn't quite sure when you can start decorating for valentine's day, as i have never decorated for or even thought about decorating for valentine's day. i know as the girls grow they will have fun getting the house ready with me, so i decided this year was as good as any to start our little traditions.

we hung little hearts over a few extra lovey photographs in our home. this one is of our wedding kiss.

this is one of my very favorite photos in the whole world. my best friend lindy took it of us when i was in labor with mary. i am in the tub in the background, with my midwife next to me. i love kirby's mood in this picture. he is quiet and contemplative, anticipating what is happening. it makes me remember how deeply connected we were in those moments even though at times we were in different places physically. it also makes me remember how quiet and beautiful the room felt to me. it's definitely a picture of love.

aside from all that gushy stuff, we had a yummy breakfast of heart shaped blueberry pancakes and scrambled eggs. we even had heart-shaped butter, a last minute "a-ha!" moment when i found some old heart shaped cookie cutters in my messy kitchen tools drawer.

hero dipped everything in syrup and ketchup, alternately.

me and the beeps, in her valentine's day best.

we went for a hike with my parents through this awesome forest in sierra madre. here is hero running to the car in her totally hike-appropriate heart dress.

she even has enough hair now for a barrette, which i forced upon her. this is one of my latest crafty creations, too. super cute.

i even got a coupon for a "free" 30 minute massage*. in the finest print ever printed i read what the * stood for:"if not past 10 pm. no extension of 30 min. exp 2/15/09." that's my boy! always infusing his one of a kind humor with his one of a kind romance. i love you, babe!

hope everyone had a fantastic love day!

favorite things

2009-02-17T10:31:00.000-08:00

lately so-cal has been under a rain cloud; and we have been spending much more time than usual inside hibernating. more time inside means more time to think about things i usually don't... like my cleaning supplies and how much i love them.

i thought it would be appropriate to give a little big up to my two favorite, life-saver cleaners.

1. 4 parts water 1 part vinegar...
in an old squirt bottle under my sink lives this solution. actually, most of the time it lives on top of my counter because i use it constantly. it is amazing. if you don't have a squirt bottle with 4 parts water 1 part vinegar, go dump out your windex and fill up the bottle with this right now. it's cheap, it's antiseptic so it cleans EVERYTHING and cleans it good, it leaves my windows and mirrors streak free, and my children can drink it and all that would happen is that they would be grossed out and maybe gag a little bit. before mary was born and hero was just getting to the age where i had to lock things up i realized how many cleaning products i had...one for every job...and they were all toxic and would really hurt or kill my child if they got ahold of it, and they all left a smelly residue on everything. so even if they didn't drink it, they were huffing it. on top of that i was always replacing something for six or seven bucks here or there. i decided to start fresh, so i threw them all out and i filled up my jug with 4 parts water and 1 part vinegar. now i am in love and i am never going back. i can get everything from toilets to high chair trays clean and my house smells fresh and airy and not like something that could burn a baby's lungs.
seriously, try it on for size... you wont be sorry

2. dr bronner's magic soap "18-in-1 hemp almond pure-castile soap made with organic oils"...
this morning i was washing dishes and i realized i was down two a squirt of two of my dish washing soap. then i remembered my dr bronner's! while i use it to wash me and my babies... i can use it for LOTS of other things... like washing dishes, cars, clothes, floors, butts, dentures (if i had dentures)...you name it. aside from all the weirdo "moral abc of all-one-god-faith" propaganda written in a teeny-tiny font all over the bottle (which does make for good emergency potty reading) this soap is amazing. it's made from pure coconut, hemp, olive and jojoba oils... no funny chemicals or fragrances (although the almond is scented with almond oil and smells lovely). i can trust it on brand new babies and my dishes if i'm in a pinch! how awesome! it's also super concentrated so you by a big bottle for 11 bucks or so and it lasts you 8 months. cleans you good, smells good, new-baby and sensitive skin friendly, economical, even fair-trade! what more could you ask for? sorry, johnson & johnson's, dr bronner's magic soap is getting my penny.

i love you, my cleaning products.

joshua tree, we thank thee

2009-02-10T16:51:00.000-08:00

this last weekend kirby and i went on our first overnight getaway since the girls were born. it was amazing! i surprised kirby with a night at a b&b in joshua tree for an early birthday/valentines day present. my parents graciously agreed to keep both girls overnight and both sides of our families chipped in for kirby's birthday present so we could steal away. and even though mary still wakes a good amount to nurse, my mom signed up for the gig, bottle at the ready. i was really nervous to leave them both, but i knew once we got out on our own it would be totally worth giving it a shot. let me tell you, it was. we hiked, took in an amazing sunset, hung out in a saloon drinking paps and bud light (mine), eating the worst steak dinner ever and watching all the interesting locals mill about. we went to sleep in a soft, cozy bed knowing full well that no one was going to wake us up (hooray!!!). i woke up feeling totally invigorated (it's amazing what one good night of sleep can do for you). the next morning we had a delicious homemade breakfast then spent the first half of the day hiking around in the park some more before we headed home. we had long talks about life and God, we listened to good music as we drove, we took in the incredible quiet of the desert, we thought about how awesome and strange cowboy life is, we had a gummy bear blind taste test and we got reminded of why we are each others. it's amazing what a little focused, uninterrupted one on one time can do. we even had a "high" coming back into the real world. just like summer camp.

as short and sweet as it was, it was completely wonderful and rejuvenating. and we are better for it.

and because there seems to always be a little thorn in the side when things are good... you should know that the dusty, hardly ever used pump i brought with us broke while we were away. all you lactating women out there can send me a little sympathy.

here is kirby, taking in the landscape

he thinks this is hilarious

outside our super cute room at the desert lily

up in the rocks

joshua tree

kirby, bouncing on some deserted timber

an old, abandoned mill way out in the middle of nowhere

i love this j tree sign

three mary's

2009-02-04T21:38:00.000-08:00

we have been trading illnesses around like there's no tomorrow all winter long. poor mary has just resigned to looking like this all the time, unless i have recently wiped her whole face off. anyone else face these sort of never ending snot difficulties?

a few days ago she was a little less boogery and her ears were illuminated by the afternoon sun so i had to break out my camera. i love this picture of her because she looks so elfy and inquisitive. i think both of those words describe her perfectly. along with squishy, wonderful, cuddly and bald.

yesterday mary and hero spent most of the afternoon outside playing with each other. well, hero played and mary most bounced around in this jumper thing that i found in what i thought was a free for all drop station at our complex only to find out it was a donation center for MEND during the holidays. of course i found this out after i had brought it home and cleaned it up and had spent a whole day or so basking in the glow of my amazing free find. needless to say i didn't return it back to the donation center as i should have. anyway, so hero was playing and mary was jumping and screeching with delight at her big sister. i was checking on them periodically... and this one time i found that hero had been digging up little dirt clots and putting them into mary's tray. mary had, of course, been eating these dirt clots for i don't know how long. mouth full of sand and grit, still happy as a clam. this is totally second child parenting... get the camera and take pictures before removing the dirt. it was totally worth it.

hero's new baby

2009-02-02T09:59:00.001-08:00

tending to baby shrek 4, originally uploaded by the fikes.

hero has been really into shrek lately, which i think is weird and funny. what makes it more weird is that she babies shrek. she carries him in her sling and comforts him. the other day i caught her giving a well swaddled shrek a bottle. this guy is a big, rude ogre, right? she must have a heart of gold.

remembering

2009-01-30T15:39:00.000-08:00

this photo says it all. it was 1:04 in the morning. we had been at it for over a day. i was so tired. i was so elated. i had been pushing for a really long time and my eyes were almost swollen shut so i could barely see her. it was almost comical. i remember closing my eyes tight then opening them and trying to memorize as much as possible because i couldn't keep them open for more than a few seconds, and everything was blurry. i remember feeling soooo good. it's amazing that after so long of feeling really bad, in an instant, you feel more amazing than you ever have in your whole life. i was so tired i couldn't even cry right. i remember just making crying sounds but i didn't really move my face at all. i must of looked like a total lunatic. i remember how amazing that moment was, seeing my baby for the first time, realizing how great God is and what a miracle life is. what a miracle that i was living and participating in this incredible thing. i remembering being so in love with kirby and feeling so attached to him. i remember eating carrots with ranch right after i got out of the tub and feeling like it was the greatest thing i had ever tasted. i felt so alive yet completely exhausted beyond my capacity. i remember feeling like my life had started. i remember the room bring dark and warm. i remember her being soft and slippery and tiny. i remember feeling powerful and amazed. that's what i remember.

2

2009-01-30T15:13:00.001-08:00

on tuesday, my baby girl turned two. i am totally amazed at how completely true all the parenting cliche's are. particularly the ones about time going by so fast. two years ago, i was pretty much the same, at least physically. two years ago she was brand new. she was breathing oxygen for the first time. her head was squished and swollen. she had just met the people she would spend the rest of her life calling her family. we spent the day recovering together and discovering each other. and then i watched her begin to grow... and grow... and grow. and now, such a short time later, she is a walking, talking, icing licking, hilarious, wonderful two year old. in the time since she came into our universe, we have seen our family grow into four... and we have felt that huge love expand and expand. and now we are here... watching her sparkely eyed and beautiful. my hero.

wonderful, wonderful.

2009-01-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

please go here to see the first beautiful shots of my not-by-blood-but-by-love-niece-or-nephew.
i love that baby so much!

a new thing

2009-01-20T15:15:00.001-08:00

in light of today's inauguration, i want to post this add a friend sent to me. i think it's a really beautiful way to dose this new administration with hope and prayers that a pro-life leaf will turn, someday. really effective and well done.

see it here.

correction!

2009-01-17T22:09:00.000-08:00

jen is right. epiphany is on the 6th of january. i was thinking about the 12 days of christmas and so i said it was the 12th, but it ain't.

c+m+b

2009-01-17T19:43:00.001-08:00

so, celebrating the epiphany rounded off our holiday festivities. we lit the advent candles one last time, moved our three wise men in front of baby Jesus on the mantle, made crowns to wear during dinner , and did a special house blessing for 09 by writing the initials of the three wise men over our door in chalk. we found some really beautiful prayers to say as a family and sufjan's christmas album sung to us as we celebrated and got ready to say goodbye to the season and jump into the new year... 6 days later.

little king blows out the advent candles for the last time

king 2, looking enthusiastic about crown-wearing

and the star that led them...

our asian-inspired meal... they came from the east, after all

we took in the last days of a christmasy fike house

and put the wise men where they belong...

jesse tree

2009-01-16T10:07:00.000-08:00

this season i really tried to celebrate the old fashioned way. i was really inspired by this book.
maria von trapp (sound of music? that's the one.) writes all about how christian holidays were celebrated in the "old country"...which is, i guess, switzerland. her perspective was so fresh for me. apparently how people used to do it was instead of starting christmas celebrations the day after thanksgiving, they celebrated advent... it was a time of preparation, mental and spiritual, for the coming of Christ. so, like a mini-lent, you would fast and pray and slowly build up the anticipation for christmas. then, when Christmas came, it was a full blown feast and a huge party that lasted until the epiphany, which is jan 12, when we celebrate when the three wise men came to see baby Jesus. i always hated how burnt out i felt on christmas by the time christmas came. and i always got frustrated at how infrequently i made the spiritual connection of what christmas was all about. so i decided to give it a shot this year in hopes of keep our spirits bright for the whole season.

one way we celebrated advent was by making a jesse tree. with the help of this amazing resource, we learned all about how to make and assemble our tree. the jesse tree is meant to replace your christmas tree for the first few weeks of advent... it's barren and dry and day by day you add life to the tree by placing an ornament on a branch that symbolizes the story of salvation, starting with creation, ending with the birth of Jesus and the symbols of His glory, right up until the eve of Christmas eve. every ornament has a scripture reading, so every night we gathered around our little stick tree, put up an ornament and read the passages. this was such an awesome way to reconnect to the Story, to be reminded of the great plan the Father had for us, and to see His coming, little by little, through the whole story of scripture. also, we did feel really connected to the true purpose of the holiday, and the anticipation did build. it was really great and i am excited to continue to make this a fike family tradition from now on.

also, the stick tree part is significant because when you fill up your jesse tree, you replace it with your christmas tree. instead of a dry branch, sort of thirsting for Christ, the tree is full of life and is evergreen, symbolizing His gift of life to us. symbols everywhere... i love it.

we also kept an advent wreath that we lit every night before dinner. this was really special, too. there are lots of great prayers you can find for each week of advent, all emphasising Christ's coming and helping us to anticipate it.

so anyway, here is our awesome little tree.

the me now

2009-01-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

2009 is bringing a new me to the table. i have been thinking alot about the ways i want to change and the me i want to be now. i have a few resolutions and thoughts running through my head... these are them.

1. organization... i want to be a filer. not just document filing... no, no... the filing of all things. i want the items in my home to have a home. most importantly, i want to become more savvy when it comes to filing things electronically. with the help of vimeo and flickr, i plan to keep our photos and videos filed and compiled and available for blog updating. which i hope to get better at, too.

2 & 3. simplifying and creating... i have had a super strong urge to become more industrious in our home lately. i got a degree so that i could understand how to paint and create, but i never successfully bridged the art gap once i started having babies and started to find myself incapable of building canvases and having space for a studio. for the past two years i have felt like a quitter. someone who cannot start a project because i am afraid of not finishing. telling myself that that season of my life is over, at least for now. i never realized that my creativity could be re channeled and that what i accomplish in our home and for our family would be even more satisfying than anything i ever did before. even though it will never be on a gallery wall. all the while i find myself internalizing more and more. loving being at home. loving being a mom. especially now that hero is a toddler, i really have to live my life based on her needs, and in a bigger way than before. when she was a baby, the park wasn't as important to me as going somewhere i wanted to go... now there is a world opening up to her and i get to show it to her. suddenly watching food network or going to shop for clothes just doesn't work anymore.

i have been falling more in love with my life as i settle into the understanding that this is my life. stay at home mommy hood. that means relinquishing all of the things i thought i wanted to do with my time and investing in the things i know i want to to with my time. baking, making, exploring, reading, teaching, cooking, learning...simplifying my world.

so in connecting my creative loves to these things, i have great aspirations of sewing more and diving deeper into my two new crafty abilities (shaky abilities, but abilities none the less)... knitting and embroidery. inspired by these two awesome books i got for christmas, the itty-bitty nursery and doodle stitching. highly recommended for all those interested...

this brings me to a more technical resolution for 2009.
4. opening an etsy shop.

not anytime soon... but i will craft with a purpose and when there is enough great stuff to put in a shop, then i will put it in a shop. i will keep you posted on this.

along with my books, and my family, this woman has been helping me feel inspired and capable of these things. other than making me want to live in a place with snow, or at least seasons, she reminds me that life in the home can be slow and simple and full of amazing accomplishments.

so keep checking in and i will keep you posted.

mark lamberth

2009-01-07T10:22:00.000-08:00

for those of you who have been checking the blog on mark's progress... and for those of you who haven't... please pray for the lamberth's right now. yesterday doctor' discovered a hemorrhage in mark's brain, last night his brain was bleeding, today his heart is slowing down.

after almost a month of hopefulness that a miracle of some sort was within reach, mark is dying right now. please pray for his wife, angie... for courage and peace and hope. please pray for their son, nolan. please pray however you pray for a family that is losing a dad and a husband. i can't even imagine exactly what that is, but i know they need it. go to mark's blog and show your support.

santa claus

2008-12-23T13:07:00.001-08:00

a slightly mixed reaction...

i can't stop checking this blog

2008-12-15T08:49:00.000-08:00

please, please go here.

please, please pray. these are good, good friends for some of our good, good friends. they need your support.

my lovelies

2008-12-11T21:27:00.000-08:00

i have been sick for the past few days, which pretty much means i have done nothing but lay on the couch and sulk. so this afternoon me and my girls got out for some much needed fresh air and decided to make a photo shoot out of it. hero was happy to be riding in her wagon, so she just cheerfully hung out. mary ate leaves and mail, which ends up being equally as cute on camera.

here are some of my favorites.

mi familia

2008-12-03T19:08:00.001-08:00

my sis in law took this of us on a walk near her place in the bay area where we spent a long, lazy thanksgiving weekend. i love it because it reminds me of how....

beautiful my family is to me.

i have a new

2008-12-03T16:05:00.001-08:00

camera!!

i conned every member of my family to pitch in for this camera for my birthday/christmas/any other holiday deserving of a present. i am still trying to figure out how to use it right, but for now am having so much fun playing with it and annoying my family members. here are some of my fav's thus far...

this one is kirby testing out my shutter speed by shaking his head really fast. i think it's funny.

thank you, thank you, family. i love my camera so much and promise to be the designated picture taker from here on out!

beautiful thang

2008-11-14T08:38:00.000-08:00

Just about a year and a half ago, Kirby and I sat in the backyard at my parents house with one of our parish priests and his brother and talked about where they came from. Fr John Kyebasuuta and his brother, Fr Tom, were born on the island of Buvuma, in the middle of Lake Victoria, in Uganda. We learned that the village they called home was filled with people who are impoverished and hungry, we learned of the large number of orphans left in the wake of the AIDS epidemic that has ravaged the country, we learned about kids that want to go to school but don't have the resources to do so.. and we learned that we could help out.

A small group of us pulled our resources together and decided to point them towards Uganda. Since then have been able to support five children through school, we have planted an orchard on the island to help reforest the area and to provide a new source of food, shelter and work, and, most recently, we have built a new well, providing fresh, clean water for the people on the island and safety for the kids that had to walk for miles to the lake to get water for their families.

We want to do more and we want you to be involved.
Our hopes are expand our little organization so that we can do more for these people who are very much in need of our support. Your $5 will pay for a hearty meal, a great time with friends and an opportunity to learn more about this project and see how you might be able to help, too. 100% of the proceeds will go to for:Uganda.

----------------
we are having this shindig at my parents house on the 22nd at 4:00 pm.
15156 trail view ct, sylmar, ca 91342

let me know if you can come and feel free to invite lots of friends!

inspired

2008-11-07T21:05:00.001-08:00

"If I discover within myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world” - C.S. Lewis

i read this tonight and it settled my heart. there are so many things i want to fight for and against and so many losses i consider victories and so many victories that i consider losses. its easy for me to get really wrapped up in political debate and in this heavy discourse of pop political views. i go nuts sometimes.

thank you, God, for hope in what is true and for guys like cs lewis.

all hallows eve time

2008-11-05T19:16:00.001-08:00

lately i have been trying hard to channel my sleeping artist self to become more of a domestic goddess. so, of course, the fike halloween celebrations got a pretty good dose of my martha stewart aspirations! i decorated our patio area really awesome (the pics will have come later) in a not too scary ghost-theme. our neighbor said it was "sophisticated". which is pretty much the weirdest halloween complement, but i will take it!

anyway, we started off the day with scrambled eggs and ghost toast, as show below.

when it came time for treat or treating, i stuffed hero into her homemade bumblebee costume (yes, that's right everyone. i have become that mom.) she totally hated wearing it, too, which really was a kick in the gut. i forced her into it anyway.

mary, on the other hand, most graciously wore her flower outfit almost the entire day. she was so cute i didn't care how ridiculous it was to have a felt flower collar in her face all day. it was worth it.
plus they were built in chewy things...

here we are, getting ready to venture out into halloween land. mary was so pumped!

hero needed to hold both kirby and uncle kenny's hands as we trick or treated. man, treat or treating is really different when your baby is one. we only went to four houses and she was totally spent. how cute is that?
and after house number four she needed to be carried the whole way back. not an easy feat in a puffy bee suit. kenny is such a good uncle.

here is hero enjoying the fruit of her labor. nothing like a dum-dum after a night of trick or treating. we sat in front of my parents house until we ran out of candy. hero really liked putting candy in the other kids bags. in fact, she liked it so much she ended up giving all her candy to other kids! it was so awesome... no halloween candy residue! i don't think we will be able to pull that one over her for very much longer.

after the crowds left, we cuddled up with hot chocolate and marshmallows and watching charlie browns 'the great pumpkin.' totally perfect.

on another sweet note...

2008-11-05T14:59:00.001-08:00

the official number of reported babies who get to get born now is...520!!!
5 of which happened at our local clinic on saturday!

wow, 520 new people in the world. how awesome.
thanks to everyone who came out and supported 40 Days for Life, thanks to everyone helping out by volunteering and walking and praying.

you also helped to close one clinic completely.

there's some change for ya.

so funny!

2008-11-05T14:55:00.001-08:00

good one, stuff white people like .

good one.

wanna know what makes the fike house go crazy?

2008-10-21T09:32:00.001-07:00

306

2008-10-20T09:49:00.000-07:00

me and the munchkins have started hanging out at abortion clinics!
we have been participating in the 40 Days For Life campaign, which is a nationwide campaign of 40 days of prayer to end abortion.

today i got an email update that as of today, which is day 27, there has been 306 reported babies saved. thats not to mention the countless others that we don't know about... people that have left the clinic to rethink there decision, or peoples hearts changed by prayer alone.

this is a picture of a group of us last saturday praying and counseling women outside of our local abortion clinic.
we are trying to shut this mug down.

pray for babies, for strong families, for change, for courage for these mommies.
and maybe volunteer at your local pregnancy help clinic or do a walk for life, like casey and lindy .

and maybe find out where your local abortion clinic is and go there to hang out sometime, you would be amazed at how many women just need one person to show them some love and support, and let them know there are other options. and that the babies inside of them need their moms to fight for them and protect them, because they are the only ones that can.

kirby had it first

2008-10-14T10:53:00.000-07:00

kirby came up with this idea, it was so awesome that someone else came up with it to.

one more..

2008-10-08T19:17:00.000-07:00

this little face is so good!

playing catch up

2008-10-08T18:54:00.001-07:00

our camera recently broke so i am finally getting to upload pictures that have been trapped for the last month or so.
to all the fike life faithful, here is a little bit of us... enjoying the last days of summer and growing up!

pretty face
tentative horsey riding at griffith park
fike the fourth aka pretty baby aka shwashee
the shwash hanging with mom on a hot day
sisters, besties
i get this request almost daily. mary in the lap please, mom.

!!
berries for breakfast= murder scene

!!
first time putting her shoes on all by herself! i didn't even suggest it, she just came out of her room, sporting her shiny shoes. what a big girlie.
i love this picture. it is mary looking up at hero. what a perfect moment to sneak into. sister love is so sweet and lovely.
and this is the sister finger suck, equally charming.

st francis

2008-10-04T13:15:00.000-07:00

today is the feast day of st francis of assisi.

st francis is the patron saint of animals, italy and the environment. kirby and i got to go to assisi a few years back and it was one of the most special places we had ever been to. we went to the basilica built in honor of him and wandered through the countryside that he loved so much. he is a incredible example of humility and love for us and we have developed quite a fondness him. we keep a statue of him in our garden to keep our plants and the local birds and squirrels and snails company.

so go and kiss your pet, or recycle something, in honor of him!

a story goes that one day, while traveling with some friends on a road with birds perched on trees on either side of them, st francis stopped and told his companions he had to go speak to the birds for a moment. he said...

"my sister birds, you owe much to God, and you must always and in everyplace give praise to Him; for He has given you freedom to wing through the sky and He has clothed you…you neither sow nor reap, and God feeds you and gives you rivers and fountains for your thirst, and mountains and valleys for shelter, and tall trees for your nests. and although you neither know how to spin or weave, God dresses you and your children, for the Creator loves you greatly and He blesses you abundantly. therefore… always seek to praise God."

mrs prd

2008-09-18T11:19:00.000-07:00

this is me and lindy.

she has been my besty since i was two years old. i am so happy she has entered the blog world..give her some of your attention!

ps

2008-09-14T15:30:00.000-07:00

check out me and jeremy's conversation in the comments under 'a bit of controversy pt 1'. jump on in if you like... i'd love your thoughts.

while we are on the subject of politics...

2008-09-14T15:29:00.001-07:00

this is pretty awesome.

cont'd from below

2008-09-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

a quote from her blog really hit's this issue for me...

that there seems to be "a new breed of evangelical -- moving the abortion battle down their list of priorities in lieu of sexier wars to wage, like AIDs in Africa."

is this what happening? are we just participating in the issues that are "culturally relevant," even glamorous? do we just want to care about the issues that faces in the magazine in the check-out line tell us to care about?

we are forgetting the babies that are suffering for our own ignorance and our own inability to bear the consequences of our actions. and we are supporting this man who we think will fight for us, but refuses to fight for the weakest.

a bit of controversy

2008-09-06T23:19:00.001-07:00

i usually stick to topics like babies and childbirth and husbands and things of that nature while blogging, but something has been really bothering me lately so i just gotta throw it out there.

i have found myself wandering onto a couple big evangelical pastory type blogs (people that are into the emergent church and relevant magazine...etc) and i have found there is one other thing they are into, big time... politics. and obama, man, do they like obama.

it got me thinking... since when did abortion become and irrelevant issue for Christians? i used to believe this was number one on the list of moral injustices occurring in our country... we kill our babies. i mean, think about that, we live in a country where we kill our own babies.

it seems like this subject has been thrown to the wayside. we are big into social justice and we are against the war and we like the planet and so we think obama is the man because he sticks up for this stuff... but somehow down the line we forgot about abortion? is it just that is gets lost in the shuffle of other things we care about or do we convince ourselves its not a relevant issue anymore? and so we tell ourselves it's no big deal to back a man that is defending this horrible thing? someone explain this to me...

tonight i got the nail in my obama coffin nailed. a woman named jill stanek who for years has been testifying for the 'born alive infants protection act'. you have probably heard about this bill in one way or another when or if you have discussed obama's pro-choice stance... this is the bill he voted against.

this is a video from 2000, when they were first confronting this issue...

food

2008-09-05T23:32:00.000-07:00

jen had this posted on her blog and it looked fun...

The Rules:
1) Copy this list into your blog or journal, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Optional extra: Post a comment here at www.verygoodtaste.co.uk linking to your results.

The VGT Omnivore’s Hundred:

1. Venison
2. Nettle tea
3. Huevos rancheros
4. Steak tartare
5. Crocodile
6. Black pudding
7. Cheese fondue
8. Carp
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Calamari
12. Pho
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Hot dog from a street cart
16. Epoisses
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Steamed pork buns
20. Pistachio ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Foie gras
24. Rice and beans
25. Brawn, or head cheese
26. Raw Scotch Bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Oysters
29. Baklava
30. Bagna cauda
31. Wasabi peas
32. Clam chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Salted lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Cognac with a fat cigar
37. Clotted cream tea
38. Vodka jelly/Jell-O
39. Gumbo
40. Oxtail
41. Curried goat
42. Whole insects
43. Phaal
44. Goat’s milk
45. Malt whisky from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Fugu
47. Chicken tikka masala
48. Eel
49. Krispy Kreme original glazed doughnut
50. Sea urchin
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Abalone
54. Paneer
55. McDonald’s Big Mac Meal
56. Spaetzle
57. Dirty gin martini
58. Beer above 8% ABV
59. Poutine
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Sweetbreads
63. Kaolin
64. Currywurst
65. Durian
66. Frogs’ legs
67. Beignets, churros, elephant ears, funnel cake
68. Haggis
69. Fried plantain
70. Chitterlings, or andouillette
71. Gazpacho
72. Caviar and blini
73. Louche absinthe
74. Gjetost, or brunost
75. Roadkill
76. Baijiu
77. Hostess Fruit Pie
78. Snail
79. Lapsang souchong
80. Bellini
81. Tom yum
82. Eggs Benedict
83. Pocky
84. Tasting menu at a three-Michelin-star restaurant.
85. Kobe beef
86. Hare
87. Goulash
88. Flowers
89. Horse
90. Criollo chocolate
91. Spam
92. Soft shell crab
93. Rose harissa
94. Catfish
95. Mole poblano
96. Bagel and lox
97. Lobster Thermidor
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Snake

jen, you have eaten horse?? are you serious.
i didn't cross any out because i don't really know how to cross things out on the computer.

here is a picture of hero to balance things out, hanging out on a curb on the national night out last month.

yosemite

2008-08-26T23:09:00.001-07:00

vacay part two. one of our faves... yosemite. we went up for a quick trip with the some of our best family friends, the saunder's families. kirby and josh, casey's hubby, were super macho and climbed half-dome in record time (we are totally convinced). we even got to talk to them when they got to the top because they had cell reception. i was super happy kirby didn't die and used him as a hot, trophy husband the rest of the day because i thought he was so awesome for being such a mountain man.

we let hero run free and free she ran. dirt, dirt, chase squirrels, scream at squirrels, chase deer, dirt, dirt, eat dirt, get soaking wet, dirt, dirt, dirt. she is so not that girl that doesn't like to get messy. she is also turning out to be pretty fearless... if she saw some kids jumping off of boulders, up a boulder she would climb to throw herself from the top. while it means we have to keep her wrangled a lot of the time, it also means we get the joy of watching her explore her world and discover new, fun things...and that is the best.

mary is totally my sensitive, mommy's girl, so she pretty much hung with me the whole time while we watched her sis stomp around like a big girl. she is getting to be so super cute i don't even know what to do with myself. we all had fun piling into a hotel room (the girls and babies got to go non-camping... and by piling i mean, me, hero, mary, my mom, casey, casey's mom, casey's munchkins, caleb and joelle, and lindy) and hanging out for the week in one of the greatest places ever. here's some fun pictures of our trip.

the summit.

the crazy, horrible cables. 800 ft of cables.

as if hiking 18 miles or whatever to the top of the rock wasn't enough. these guys were strapping up a tightrope. insanity.

kirby's view. yikes!

my hikin' boy.

dirt.

hero and caleb being so cute.

river baby.

mary found her feet. hooray! here she is, showing you.

pb&j's in her camping chair. life is pretty good here.

looking at deer with grandma.

lindy and the two babes, getting their tans on.

the new fave, the two finger suck! i love this one.

big time camper-girl. roughin' in.

pismo

2008-08-26T22:21:00.001-07:00

some of our summer vaca-bliss was an awesome trip to pismo with kirby's side-o-the family. kirby's mom treated us and kirby's brother and his wife to a long weekend at a beach house. it was pretty great. we discovered that there is no stopping hero's ability to get completely filthy. we also discovered it is pretty difficult to sleep all of us in a king sized bed... this makes for aggravating middle of the night moments, but really funny following morning moments.

here is an example.
one night after a good hour and a half of hero crying because i was feeding mary but she wanted to snuggle me, i finally settled down with her to cuddle and as i was scratching her back, i reached me hand into the top of diaper to scratch her lower back and put my finger in a poo. a moment like this provides lots of good reasons to freak out... 1) it was 4:30 in the morning and 2) i just put my hand in poop...in a pitch black room, in a bed full of people, at 4:30 in the morning 3) my daughter hasn't pooped in the middle of the night since she was a month old. whats wrong with her!? i get out of bed to wash off, kirby flips on the lights to change her. hero laughs. mary wakes up. mary cries. we all cry... almost.

pretty funny the next morning, not really funny then. well, kinda funny then.

anyway, we had such a great time with each other. lots of new memories were made and lots of good stuff happened.

and lots of sweet stuff happened... like this "i'm going to show you the world, my little one" moment.

mary has started the finger-suck. pretty cutie if you ask her momma.

hero kept stretching out over the expanse of her sand holes. as if to say, "this here is my sand hole, no on else is allowed inside."

of course, brilliant mom didn't think that central coast beaches get cold. this was the best we could do one evening. she thought it was pretty awesome, though.

sandy baby.

she sat perched in a sand hole most of the time. good vantage point, i guess.

wet jeans + sand hole= most sandy butt ever.

sweet baby girl with g-ma fike.

at avila beach for the farmers market...

this is kirby's cracking up face. i love when this happens. i just had to put it up cause i think its so cute.

melt.

wow

2008-08-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

its pretty embarrassing how long its been since i posted. get ready for the major heat wave of updates.

we've missed you, blogosphere.

sacrament numero uno

2008-07-15T15:30:00.000-07:00

mary was baptized two weeks ago at our parish. it was a simple, beautiful experience for us all...just us, an empty church and fr joey, one of our parish priests. mary quietly participated and graciously allowed me to dress her in a bonnet (which kirby made fun the whole night).
i was so moved to think of the grace God gives to us through baptism, and so thankful i can give that to my girls even when they are teeny tiny.

"let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God"- luke 18:15–16

welcome to your faith, little one!

and for this one...

2008-07-01T22:55:00.000-07:00

she just gets better and better. mary was two months last week. now weighs 10 lbs 11oz.
when she sleeps she looks like this...

and when she is up she looks like this... she's the best.

mary talks to us all the time with these little coos that i couldn't possibly describe because they are way to good to put words to. i've got them on video so don't be surprised if i bust it out next time you're over. kids are the best thing ever. i know i've probably said this over and over but it's like just when you thought things couldn't get better, they do... and when you didn't think you could love bigger, you do.
if you don't have one, or many, yet. do yourself a favor...

ps, was it me that said i never have time to post!?

then

2008-07-01T22:49:00.001-07:00

in order to maximize our fun in the sun we bought hero a sun-safe swimsuit. she looks like a little turtle and i think it's so cute. she doesn't think it's so cute.

and while im at it

2008-07-01T22:41:00.001-07:00

we also took a visit to our dear friends the saunders to compare babies and get dirty. here is our photo documentation.

the ones on the outside belong to casey, the two in the middle belong to me.

a brief recap

2008-07-01T22:21:00.000-07:00

instead of posting 8,000 recaps of all you've missed, i should just hit the high notes... one of which being a pre-fathers day celebration at the beach in ventura. the whole fam-bam (including my parents) took a long drive up the coast, stopped to frolic on the beach and topped the night off with a tasteless meal at, what i think, is safe to call the most depressing restaurant in all of the usa.
red lobster.

she wore lots of sunscreen so as to avoid becoming a red lobster.

if you look closely, my reflection is perfectly positioned in kirby's glasses. i thought that was funny.surf-simulating.

sandy baby...

mary is in there somewhere...

i loved how overzealous kirby was about this slide working out.the end.

babies

2008-07-01T22:12:00.001-07:00

this afternoon i got to spend some time with two other mommies who i absolutely love. one mommy is the mommy of a brand new baby boy, the other mommy has an even newer baby boy that is still on the inside...

this made me think of all the new babies i have the privilege of knowing; and how awesome it is to watch new life, and new families, make their start. so in honor of what has truly been baby season, i wanted to say to all the new little ones...

baby finbar! baby emily! baby joelle! baby mary clare! baby shepherd! baby penelope! baby amelie! and baby james monroe (who was really just born... today!!)

welcome to the planet. we are so glad you are here.

it's too late to apologize

2008-06-29T18:04:00.000-07:00

wow. i have officially discovered the hardest part of having two children... blog upkeep. i find time now, on this lazy sunday afternoon, to do a quick recap and post some much anticipated photos. this week has been pretty rough, hero has had a bad cold since last friday, now it seems to have migrated to both kirby and mary...
and now mary is awake and crying, time's up! see, i told you it was hard.

here's one picture, to tide you over...

geez... how cute are my girlies?

three years

2008-06-18T18:12:00.000-07:00

happy anniversary, babe!!

perfect

2008-05-21T12:05:00.000-07:00

the latest

2008-05-21T11:30:00.000-07:00

we all saw uncle kenny off a few weeks ago. he now calls his home oklahoma. this is us getting one last cuddle in before he hit the road. we miss you, bear!

on a cozy, overcast afternoon we walked down to the campus and watched some serious track meet action. here is mary, cuddled up with her momma...

and here is her big sis, en route to the standard 'dad lifts me up by my legs' move, which generally seems pretty unstable but apparently is a bit hit with one year olds.

this pose occurs often in public places. hero stands by mary's car seat and smiles at passer-by's as if to say "hello there! here i am, standing next to my baby sister. isn't she so cute?!" proud, proud, proud.

sometimes there are so many baby's laying around, it takes me a second to figure out which one is real. hero loves to provide mary with lots of company. you know, just so she will have a few ladies to chat with in case she's feeling lonely or misunderstood.

here is our big girl at kirby's mom's hotel, trucking down the hallway... totally fearless.

again, totally fearless!

little mary and i just watched and huffed the massive chlorine fumes of a marriot indoor pool facility.

sisters.

at the end of the weekend, hero let off some steam by joining in on the drum circle at the whole planet, whole child expo. there was an awesome duo called 'rhythm child' who played fun songs for the kids. they were all rocking out and playing with drums, tambourines and maracas. at the end, when the music was finished and everyone had cleaned up the instruments and left, poor hero sat on her knees in front of the stage for longest... trying to wish the action back, i suppose. it was pretty much the cutest thing ever.

something to post after all

2008-05-17T00:22:00.001-07:00

sleepy smiles are the best.

this is hers...

my blog

2008-05-16T23:47:00.001-07:00

i love my blog. lets just get that out there.
i just spent some time re-reading all my previous posts and i am satisfied.

i wish had something more exciting to say or some new cute pictures to post, but i haven't uploaded any new shots. this weekend kirby's momma is down for a visit, i'm sure we'll have some good documentation of our fun for me to post next week. tomorrow we are dragging her to the whole planet, whole child expo here in northridge. ed begley jr is gonna be there, it should be pretty awesome. plus there will be a "rainforest filled with exotic animals" PLUS there will be stephen stills of crosby, stills and nash performing for the kiddos on sunday! wow, its really gonna be good. you should come!

right now my sweet baby hero is sleeping in her bed, completely zonked after a long day of chalk drawing, swimming, trying to make friends with everyone she comes in contact with and walking all over kirby's mom's hotel lobby.

right now my little mary is sound asleep next to her daddy in bed right behind me. he is probably awake because i am typing but she is out like a light. mostly she just slept all day but thats alot for a three week old, im sure. i can hear her little baby breaths. what a perfect sound.

crickets are outside my window and its not so hot that i have to sleep with the air conditioner on. all is well in my world. thats for shizzle.

goodnight!

catching up

2008-05-07T11:46:00.000-07:00

it's been almost two weeks of life with two kids! what a whirlwind... the four of us have been busy soaking up the goodness of our new family, seeing lots of friends and fam, eating other people's food, and remembering what newborns are like. kirby was home last week but is back in school now getting geared up for finals. that means i have been venturing into the world of being a stay-at-home mommy to two. this is exciting, to say the least, and i have been loving every minute of it.

i thought i would throw up a few pictures of our latest adventures.

here we are, perfecting the double cuddle on day 2.

i'm sure something really funny was going on here

hero hovering over mary, while donning her new "double hat" style

sweet sleepy girl

our first adventure to target! this was about two hours in the making. finally with two full bellies, six poopy diapers and a new change of clothes due to a pee fiasco under our belts, we were able to load up the double stroller and venture out. all with another set of hands to help (kaitlyn, your the bomb). when we got to target i indulged in a venti chai latte. i earned it.

on saturday the ladies and i went to our first soiree, our friend eileen's baby shower. i had fun lounging in the shade and eating heaping helpfuls of chick food, hero had fun playing in the sandbox, chasing around the big kids and eating her weight in strawberries, mary had fun posing for pictures and sleeping.
our good friends, nick and ang, came by to feed us and mary got to hang with her new friend, finbar. he's a pretty mellow guy, in comparison.

and hero has been spending time practicing her baby-care skills, such as the swaddle...

and the sling.

Modeselektor feat. Thom Yorke - The White Flash

2008-05-03T10:25:00.001-07:00

check this fresh track out!

sisters!!

2008-04-26T12:35:00.000-07:00

the baby ticker is no longer necessary!

mary josephine fike was born on thursday evening at 6:52. she weighed 7lbs 15oz and measured 20 1/4 in.

she completely caught us off guard! thursday morning, after a handful of contractions i thought i might be in early, early, labor but wasn't really convinced of it. thinking we might really go into labor that night or something and feeling pretty good, i proceeded to tear apart our couch cushions to throw the slipcovers in the wash, make messy piles of things we might need to grab on our way out the door, sterilize things, wash dishes, clean out the fridge, dust, etc. around 2 pm, in the midst of the chaos, our midwife decides to swing by the check things out. turns out i am 5 cm dilated! things started to kick in around 3:30 or so and 3 1/2 hours later, after about 20 min of pushing, our baby girl was born!

kirby and i felt like we were trying to catch our breath the entire time, it just happened so fast! it took 13 hours to get to 5 cm with hero!! we couldn't wrap our heads around that fact that it was really happening. by 7:30 we were all tucked into bed, watching the sun go down, loving our girls and smelling mary's sweet head. it was absolutely perfect.

and even though i never thought life could be better, i already feel like our family is more complete. there is more love, more joy, more sweetness.

here are some pictures from our day (thank you, lindy!! we love you so much:)

we can't wait for you to meet our her!

mary josephine

first family pictures

hero waving 'hi' to mary

loving her baby sister

really loving her baby sister

give me her!!

so good

2008-04-18T10:56:00.001-07:00

so, i have no idea how this happened, but in the past two years i have quickly became a woman obsessed with all things childbirth.
i recently saw a documentary that seriously shook my universe. ricki lake (i know, where has she been, right?) made a film called the business of being born. it is hugely important.
as soon as i saw it i thought to myself, "every woman everywhere has to see this!!"

i could probably write forever about why this subject is so important to me, but i think the film says it best. kirby and i were totally blessed with being exposed other birthing options. we got educated and made our own decisions regarding our birth experiences. that led us to delivering with midwives, hero was in a birthing center, this next baby will be at home. i am so glad to have made thoughtful, well-educated choices... i was able to be conscious and aware and active and strong through the whole process. it feels so good to say that i really loved delivering my baby(ies), because it's not often you find that woman are positive about their birth experiences. in that sense, i feel like the joy of having kids has been robbed from us by our cultures standards of care. with that...

see this film, see this film, see this film! it's available now on netflix...
i would love to hear what you think.

hibernation

2008-04-16T14:03:00.000-07:00

i am really into hibernating lately. i think my emotional, pre-mother state has really kicked in. i am trying to really soak up my last little bit of time with my two favorite people before we meet our new baby. if i have been ignoring you, don't take it personal.
i wonder alot what hero is thinking, what she will be thinking, if she gets that something is up. she has been resting her head on her "baby" (my stomach) alot and hanging on extra tight when i hold her. sometimes i wonder if her little heart knows a change is coming. maybe she is telling me she's ready.
it's kind of bittersweet but much more sweet than bitter. i am so excited to meet another baby God made for our family.
anyway, a little over a week ago our amazing wedding photographer, Mary Hawblitzel, took some pictures of me and hero. here are some of our favorites!

i have no idea why everything is underlined all of a sudden.

heartburn

2008-04-02T14:13:00.000-07:00

i stole this out of my dads pantry and ate it for lunch.

my esophagus is on fire.

baby

2008-03-25T13:28:00.000-07:00

as a nod to my sister in pregnancy, casey, i now have a matching baby thing counting down the days to the arrival. what a creepy looking baby!

and im enjoying tj's peach salsa, which is suprisingly good!

i am also in the process of reading casey's book "the complete organic pregnancy" (you know, since i have so much pregnancy time left, i thought i'd get a jump on it) and i learned a pretty amazing fact about cancer and toxins... did you know that 1/2 of all the cancer in the world is from people of industrialized nations even though we only make up 1/5 of the worlds population? did you know that 80% of all cancer is do to environmental influences...

woah!